Hot Sauce Disclaimer - too funny

Saratoga Salsa & Spice Company
398 Broadway
Saratoga Springs, NY 12866

I, ________________________________, hereby agree and affirm that in exchange for the purchase of Da’ Bomb Final Answer, One Million Scoville, Satan’s Blood, Smack My Ass & Call Me Sally, Pure Cap – 500,000 Scoville Units, Black Mamba, Mad Dog 357 or any other products from Saratoga Salsa & Spice Company, its affiliates, its employees, its suppliers, distributors or manufacturers, that certain conditions and promises are required.

They are as follows:
Due to the extremely hot nature of these products, I agree that these products will only be used as a food additive. I fully understand that these products can cause serious injury if directly consumed, ingested and/or applied to the skin, eyes, or any other bodily organs.
Any of the products will be used at my own risk, and I fully understand the potential DANGER if handled improperly.
If I give these products as a gift, I will make the recipient fully aware of the potential danger if these products are directly consumed or handles improperly.
If I share these products with other individuals, I will make the recipient fully aware of the potently danger if these products are directly consumed or handled improperly.
I hereby release, disclaim, and relinquish Saratoga Salsa & Spice Company, its affiliates, its employees, it supplies, distributors and/or manufacturers of any and all claims, actions and/or lawsuits that I, or any of my dependents, heirs or family members may have relating to any damage and/or injury that results, or is alleged to have resulted, from the user, consumption, ingestion, and/or contact of any bodily part or organ from any of these products.
I am not inebriated or impaired in any way, and I am fully able to make a sound decision about the purchase of these products.

I HAVE READ THIS DISCLAIMER, AND
AGREE AND ACCEPT ITS CONDITIONS:

Name:________________________________
Date: _________________________________